It’s Not Personal—It’s Their Pain

One of the deepest sources of our emotional suffering—rejection, abandonment, heartbreak—comes from the belief that other people’s actions are about us.

But here’s the truth: Most of what people do has nothing to do with us.

Their distance, their anger, their betrayal, or their silence…It's not always about your worth. It’s often a reflection of their own internal war.

We live in a world that teaches us to view everything through an ego-centric lens.“If they left, I wasn’t enough.”“If they betrayed me, I must be unlovable.”“If they hurt me, something must be wrong with me.”

But most people are acting from their own trauma—not intentionally trying to hurt you.They’re drowning in fear, shame, and unhealed pain.And in that state, they protect themselves the only way they know how:By running. Blaming. Pushing away. Controlling.

This doesn’t mean their behavior is okay—it means it’s not personal.

When we shift this perspective, we don’t excuse the harm—but we free ourselves from the story that we were the cause of it.

You are not broken because someone couldn’t meet you in love. You are not unworthy because someone walked away. You are human. And so are they.

Healing begins when we stop taking everything so personallyand start recognizing the pain behind the mask.