Blog #2

Reclaiming the Self You Were Always Meant to Be

By: Lena Kopelyanova

You’ve built the career. You’ve checked the boxes. From the outside, your life might even look ideal — yet somewhere deep inside, something feels off. You sense that you are living a version of yourself that isn’t entirely yours. You feel… adopted by a life you didn’t consciously choose.

It’s a silent ache in the background — a whisper that grows louder when you slow down. It’s not that you’ve made "wrong" choices. It’s that somewhere along the way, you might have adopted roles, identities, and values that don’t match the authentic self you were born to embody.

Adopted is a word that captures this emotional experience perfectly. It describes a life lived according to external expectations — family traditions, societal norms, cultural "shoulds" — rather than your true internal compass.The good news? Awareness is the first step to reclaiming your original self.

Spotting Misalignment: The Subtle Symptoms

Before you can realign, you have to learn to recognize when you’re out of alignment. Misalignment is often sneaky; it doesn’t announce itself in obvious ways. Here’s how it might show up:

• Chronic dissatisfaction even when achieving your goals

• Feeling drained after activities or relationships that are supposed to be fulfilling

• Frequent fantasizing about quitting, escaping, or starting over

• Physical symptoms like tension, fatigue, or anxiety without clear cause

• Emotional numbness — a sense that life is happening to you, not through you

If one or more of these resonate, it’s time to pause and investigate.

Practical Tools to Begin Realignment

Here are three simple but profound practices to help you start peeling away the "adopted" layers and reconnect with your truest self:

1. The Authenticity Inventory

Take 30 minutes with a journal. For every major area of your life (career, relationships, health, spirituality, hobbies), ask:

• "Whose dream is this?"

• "Does this energize me or drain me?"

• "If no one would judge me, would I still choose this?"

Don’t edit yourself. Let the truth spill out. You might discover that parts of your life are rented dreams, not ones you built from the ground up.

2. Body as a Compass

Your body is wise beyond logic. It often registers misalignment long before the mind admits it. Pay close attention:

• Lightness = aligned

• Tightness = misaligned

Practice body-checking throughout your day. Before saying "yes" to a meeting, a project, or a personal commitment, pause and notice: Do I expand or contract? Over time, your body’s signals will guide you toward greater authenticity.

3. Daily 5-Minute Reconnection Ritual

Every morning, spend 5 quiet minutes with your hand on your heart asking:

"What do I need today to feel more like myself?""What is one small act I can take toward my truth?"

Maybe it’s saying no to a draining favor. Maybe it’s signing up for that improv class you’ve secretly wanted. The answer doesn't need to be dramatic. Tiny, aligned actions compound into major life shifts over time.

Spiritual Wisdom: You Were Never Broken

Many people who wake up to misalignment also wrestle with guilt or regret: "How did I let this happen?"Here’s the truth, drawn from many wisdom traditions: You are not broken. You are not behind. You are simply remembering who you really are. Life’s curriculum is designed perfectly — even the detours, even the roles you "adopted" — all of it shaped you into someone who can now walk the path home to yourself with wisdom, courage, and grace.

Final Thought:You don’t have to burn everything down to find your authentic life. You only have to start listening.Small shifts lead to seismic change.

You are not here to live someone else’s dream. You are here to remember your own.